Sunday, September 19, 2021

An absence of care

 I finally had plans for last Sunday. I had been anticipating going to a local outdoor craft fair to get a few new items. That plan came to a crashing halt when my mother's care agency didn't schedule an aide to be with her during the day. The night time aide couldn't stay. I ended up staying with my mother the entire day until the night-time aide returned a couple of hours early. What I realized is that I can no longer substitute as my mother's aide. She is too weak and I am not strong enough to help her. I was unable to get her showered so I just washed what I could. Once I helped her to change her clothes and sit on the couch in her den, I couldn't help her get up again the rest of the day. Unfortunately the muscles in her legs are so weak that she can't get up from a sitting position without someone helping to lift her. She is very resistant to this process. She wants to help herself, but after a few attempts at getting up she gets frustrated and distracted (a result of the dementia) and just stops trying. I was quite sad by the end of the day. 

Hubby was great and brought over my secret cross-stitch for me to work on, but I hadn't returned the chart to the work bag so I couldn't work on it. Instead, I started sewing the ribbon bands on the hats on Mom's Overall Sam quilt blocks. I will share these blocks with you someday soon. I am trying to finish this quilt for my mom while I can get some of her imput. 

I have been exclusively stitching the secret cross-stitch. I am feeling the crunch to get this completed. Here is another peek.

I will be trying to add some more stitches to this today.

At night, when I can't see to work on cross-stitch, I have been adding rows to the Baby Elephant Blanket. I have 20 rows completed out of 106. Except for untangling the yarn skeins every so often and counting the stitches, this is a fairly quick crochet stitch.

Yesterday I found some time to start on the next 10 blocks for my daughter's quilt. 

Thankfully the care agency has cobbled together aides for my mother tomorrow. I really hope they can get a steady aide soon for Sunday to Tuesday. Maybe Hubby and I can figure out something fun to do today.

I am joining Kathy for some Slow Sunday Stitching. Pop on over to her site to see what other bloggers are stitching. 

Thanks for stopping by!


  1. I am sorry you are finding such a hard time to get an aid on Sunday's friend.. You are right that at this stage in her life you need to be her daughter and not her aid though esp with the positive progress you are making with pt... you don't want to take steps back you know.. Enjoy your sunday and doing something fun with your hubby and leave those directions with the secret project!!! lol I really care about you as a friend and hope you find help consistently soon for your mom! Kathi

  2. So sorry you have had problems with your mother's care. My husband at the end had trouble getting up too. Physical therapy had provided me with a belt I could put around his chest and it helped me lift him up. I also helped him get up by lifting him by the seat of his pants. He was around 260 pounds and I am at least 100 pounds less. There were quite a few times to toward the end I had to call the fire department to help me get him up. Good luck, I know these are very stressful times for you and you are in my prayers.

  3. Oh dear... we have the same problem here for folks who need in home care. It's a challenge to get staff who are qualified and reliable. Good thing you had your hand stitching to help to relax.

  4. Hugs for you, it is not easy caring for parents. We all need help, self care is so important with a solid support system. Glad you have your hubby. The secret stitching is looking interesting, love the elephant blanket.

  5. Sorry to hear about your Mom's lack of caregiver. With your shoulder, it would be impossible for you to get her up. I hope that this does not happen again. The caregiving agencies here always seem to be short staffed too. Your secret stitching is so pretty! The elephant blanket is growing.

  6. Cathie: I am so sorry about your Mother and how hard it is to help, I had the same problem, aides are a treasure when they can work, I just could not help her any longer.
    I am so loving the elephant design, it is positively adorable.
    The quilt blocks you are working on are a lovely combination of color.
    Your secret cross stitch is refreshing to look at, beautiful color threads.


  7. So sorry to now the problems with your mother, it is not easy. Your secret cross stitch project is looking pretty as the other two (quilting and crocheting). Take care of yourself Cathie.

  8. It is so hard with our moms this age and not being able to help them. My mom has moved to assisted living, but even so, I got a call at 1:30 am that she had fallen and had to be checked out at the ER. They have her wearing a help button to press when these things happen, but she didn't remember it! Meanwhile, I hope you found a little stitching therapy with the Overall Sams and your adorable elephant blanket. A getaway day with your husband sounds like good therapy, too!

  9. You are not alone in your caregiving frustrations. I know it is little consolation but when I did this, it helped some to know I was part of an invisible “club” of sorts.

  10. so sad, please take care of yourself the best way possible! I hope the care situation works out for her and more importantly for you. You want you and your mother to be SAFE.


Thanks for your comments! I love to hear from you.